I understand how hard it can be for a parent raising a child in the 21st century to figure out the parenting approach that will work best for them. There are so many conflicting opinions and perspectives on what “good parenting” is and is not. Since everyone else is chiming in, debating and making their “points,” I thought I would share what I believe is the fundamental point when raising children:
Quality parenting always puts the relationship between parent and child first.
I have seen the results first-hand. When children are raised under the guidance of a trusted parent who they feel genuinely connected to, in a loving and secure way, children develop and demonstrate respect for that parent. They will also extend that same respect to others as they grow and mature. I have witnessed the confidence these kids have in making mistakes, taking healthy risks and making decisions that best support the people they are growing into.
Just for fun, think about the people in your life.
Envision the people you love spending time with. Identify people you feel respect for and are respected by. Picture the people who accept you, despite your faults, and show you respect even when you behave badly (and yes, adults behave badly all the time). Think of those who love you anyway and forgive your mistakes.
These individuals are usually among our closest friends and confidants. We invest and cultivate and care for these relationships. We are flexible, forgiving and open minded with those we love and trust. We share, we grow and we accept each other for the people we are today. When we take the time to think clearly about the relationships we cherish as adults, it paints a clear picture, a roadmap if you will, as to how we want to treat our children if we wish to create the same kind of relationship with them. -Vicki
Do you (as an adult) want to invest in a relationship where the other person is domineering, intolerant, pushy or controlling or perhaps judges your errors or tries to change who you are? Do you think children want to invest in a relationship like this? Let us know your thoughts! [hr]