As a parent, if you ever find yourself in a place where you want to “teach a lesson,” but you think you’d like to choose the relationship, remember that the world is already set up to help your child learn lessons with nearly every event, decision, and mistake.
The daily grind of life offers kids countless golden opportunities to learn with no emotional attachment to what’s going on. Sometimes kids get away with it. Other times, it takes a long time to harvest the natural response to a behavior, like losing friends over being bossy or mean. Either way, you can’t “teach” something by adding a bite in the bottom.
Think of the last time someone tried to teach you a lesson by acting like a jerk. Did you learn a bit of wisdom or did you walk away feeling disconnected and low? Use what’s readily available (natural consequences) and it’ll help take the pressure off both you and your child and allow for a better connection between the two of you.
-Duct Tape Moment from the Book, Duct Tape Parenting