4-weeks online

January 8

January 15

January 22 

January 29

9am-10:30am Pacific

 

If you have found yourself on this page, then chances are this course if for you! This specific 4-week online class will be tailored towards parents of children ages 2-10 but all are welcome.

During our time together, you will learn a less is more parenting approach is designed to assist parents as they reconcile the fact that although they are living with children, they are ultimately, raising adults. Parents who attend will learn how to implement tools for raising capable, cooperative, responsible, respectful and resilient young adults who thrive on the other side of the threshold, as well as, supporting kids as they learn to navigate daily life while they are living at home with less stress and more joy.

As a participant of this online course, you will have access to me via a private Facebook group that I monitor daily.

Week 1

Creating a Learners Mindset:

Perhaps the most important component of any successful parenting strategy is the ability to bring “new thinking”, to your current parenting practices. Without it, the strategy, no matter how sound, will fail.  

Adopting a learner’s mindset allows parents to explore their own role in the challenges and obstacles facing the family, challenge old assumptions that influence your parenting decisions and address myths and fears that chip away at your confidence to lead with authority and with love.

I will introduce you to the Do Nothing, Say Nothing exercise which is going to bring a new clarity and confidence to your parenting and set you up for success in the coming months. And, it’s an exercise you can revisit if you find yourself slipping back into old thinking (you know this is happening when family relationship begin to deteriorate). Whether you have already participated in the DNSN challenge, or you are new to this exercise, I promise you will walk away with information that will change the way you parent.

Relationship Strategies for the Long Haul

Here are the 3 reasons parents continue to focus energy on discipline strategies instead of relationship strategies:
 
#3. Some parents believe that without discipline strategies they will turn into permissive parents.

#2. Other parents believe that children NEED constant discipline and must “suffer” in order to learn a valuable lesson. 
 
And the NUMBER ONE reason parents continue to spend their time and focus on discipline is…

#1. They just don’t know what else to do!

Here is what you will learn in this 4-Week Online Parenting Course:

  • How to use the 3 MOST effective Relationship Strategies to maintain order, create custom morning and evening routines, and to eliminate fighting between everyone in the family.
  • How easy it is to use these strategies to create respectful communication, empower children to do more for themselves, encourage problem solving skills so kids work out their own differences, and support kids as they become increasingly more capable, cooperative, responsible and respectful.
  • How simple it is to implement these Relationship Strategies when you take just a few minutes to create a personal and intention parenting plan that will direct you towards your goal of living in a happy, respectful, harmonious, functioning family.

Week 2

Rethinking Discipline Strategies

Discipline strategies include policing, punishing, time-outing, counting and a host of other equally ineffective and exhausting techniques. Parents tell me they feel like the law-enforcement officer in their own home. That’s exactly what happens when the focus of parenting is on using discipline to maintain control instead of focusing on building relationships that foster cooperation.  

Have you ever considered that you may be using so called Discipline Strategies in the wrong way which is why you aren’t seeing any improvement in your child’s behavior? Join the crowd. I hear over and over again from parents that no matter what they try, nothing seems to work for more than a day or a week or a month if they are lucky. It might be a mystery to many, but I can tell you exactly what’s going on.


We’ve become a culture of post-it-note parents, jumping from one discipline strategy to another in an attempt to maintain control and “get” our children to behave properly.  

For example, you use time-outs with a 3-year-old, but can’t imagine putting your 13 year old in the naughty chair.  

It’s important that parents understand what message they send to their children when they jump from one strategy to another. The primary message is this, “As your parent, I’m not sure what to do, but I know I have to do something, and I am willing to do anything.” That can be a pretty confusing message for any kid.

It’s equally important that parents recognize that the sole purpose of ANY discipline strategy is to TEACH our kids about self-discipline and then let them practice.


Here are the Top 4 reasons parents over-use and miss-use discipline strategies:  

#4. Everyone else is using the latest quick-fix strategy and they say it’s kind of working with their kids, so maybe it will work with yours.
#3. You haven’t really thought about what kind of strategy you want to use for the long-haul, so why not try everything available.
#2. You believe you have to do something or the kids will be totally out of control.

And the NUMBER ONE reason parents continue to miss-use discipline strategies is…


#1. They forget their real purpose – to TEACH and DEVELOP SELF-discipline in children.

Here is what you will learn in this 4-Week Online Parenting Course:


A few of the simplest most effective discipline strategies you can use no matter how old your kids are, or what situation you find yourself in. Consistency is the key.

  • Discipline strategies to TEACH your children SELF-discipline so you can spend your time on Relationship Strategies.
  • How to use the SAME strategies in a respectful, thoughtful way so they don’t become punishments.
  • How to use the SAME strategies to train your kids to think for themselves and practice managing their own lives, leaving you feeling confident in yourself AND your kids. 

Supporting Independence and Building Competency


Right now, you may be feeling more like the maid then a mom or dad.  You’re waiting on the kids and you’re starting to feel a bit resentful.  No matter how much you do for them, it never seems to be enough AND they seem ungrateful to boot.  The more you give, the more they seem to demand from you.  You’re so caught up in making life “easier” for the kids that you’re exhausted, frustrated and disconnected by the end of the day.

Here is a question for you – Are you willing to take the time and invest the energy in order to ensure your children have mastered self, home, social and life skills so they can successfully navigate their lives now and when they leave home, or will you continue to wait on them because it’s easier, your faster and they make messes while they are learning new skills?

Remember, if you are busy taking care of your child’s every need, you can be sure you aren’t making yourself emotionally available to them and I hear from kids every day, that what they want and need from their parents is …..


Here are the top 5 reasons parents continue to wait on their children even though something doesn’t feel quite right.

  1. You believe it’s your job to give your kids a fun and exciting childhood and that doesn’t involve them in helping out around the house.
  2. You don’t believe your children will help even after you ask them nicely and if they do agree, they won’t do it as well or as fast as you.
  3. It’s easier to do it yourself and you won’t have to worry about fighting with them.
  4. You don’t have a system on how to train them and keep the house in order at the same time.
  5. Your mother in law is coming and she criticizes your housework even after you have had the maid brigade over.

Week 3

Supporting the Emotional Health of our Children

As parents, we all know how important it is, especially in this fast paced, pressure cooker of a world, that supporting our children’s emotional health is critical. It is time to take our children’s emotional health as seriously as we take their nutritional health.
  
If there's one thing I know for sure, it's that life gets harder and more complicated the older our children get and that means that being prepared for the ups and downs of life with the resiliency necessary to bounce back is the difference between a child who can …. And a child who finds life overwhelming which can lead to stress, anxiety and depression.  

Instead of allowing our children to struggle, to face frustration, to learn to handle conflicts with siblings and peers, we try and remove obstacles from their life which endangers our children in two ways. The first is that the message we send to our children is that we have little or no faith in their ability to handle life which erodes their confidence and creates children who are emotionally immature. And second, that other people are responsible ….

By “acting like an outsider” parents are not only able to remain emotionally free from the “cheap drama”, but demonstrate to their children how others will respond.  


This powerful 4-Week Online Parenting Course will show you another way.  I will teach you: 

  • How to identify your “buttons” so you can stay dis-engaged, level-headed and deal with ANY situation with a clear head and a plan in hand.
  • How to begin teaching your kids about “social expectations”, so they understand your new responses to their old “drama”.
  • How to let natural consequences do the teaching, so you can remain firm, kind, friendly, and helpful when the child is ready to talk about their experience.
  • How to identify, focus and encourage your child’s natural abilities and strength’s so they develop the resiliency to deal with all of life’s ups and downs.

Addressing Daily Challenges

By now you are beginning to understand the powerful nature of my less is more approach to parenting. You may be feeling calmer, less stressed and more focused in your parenting. You may be experiencing the first signs that things are improving and your enthusiasm is high. We will capitalize on this positive momentum by addressing some of the daily challenges that parents face and arm you with new information and strategies to improve daily life for you and the kids.  

Based on your feedback, I will determine what challenges to address in this weeks class and will provide time during Week Four to further explore options for dealing with daily struggles.

Week 4

Preparing for Launch

If you want to ensure that your son or daughter will throw open the doors at 18 and jump into adult life with confidence and enthusiasm, then you are going to want to consider this:

Are you preparing your children for departure as soon as they arrive?

Leaving home at 18 and feeling ready to handle all that life has to offer requires years of practice.  The younger our kids start practicing, the better chance they have of leaving home prepared and excited about the future.

Telling our kids what to do and how to do it, solving their problems for them, saving them from mistakes or punishing them when they get it wrong is not the most effective way of fostering an independent, thinking, confident person.

Parent’s must create daily opportunities for kids to practice making decisions, support their child’s growth no matter how messy it gets and to constantly take a back seat so the child can sit in the drivers seat more and more often.  How else will they learn to navigate their lives from 18 – 80? 

Yes, it’s important to enjoy our kids while they are young and to expose them to the care-free lifestyle of childhood.  But balancing that with their desire to become independent, self-sufficient and competent is just as important.  

Here is the NUMBER ONE reason parents miss this essential concept:

It is just too hard to imagine your child at 18, when you are living with a toddler.  But before you know it, they are driving and suddenly you realize that your kids aren’t adequately prepared to face the challenges of the world.  

You will learn how to reconcile the fact that you are living with a child, whether they are 2, 7, 12 or 16 and raising an adult all at the same time. And believe it or not, it’s not only easier than you think, it’s a frickin blast.

Addressing Daily Challenges

During our last class together, we will focus our time addressing any lingering issues you may have as well as answer any questions you may still have.  If you have been practicing, you will find a new confidence, clarity, and focus to your parenting and your kids will feel it as well. When you claim your rightful position as the leader of the pack, life with the kids will be a whole lot more enjoyable.

Who is Vicki?

Vicki Hoefle is a witty and well-loved parent coach, educator, public speaker, and author. To quote one of Vicki's happy clients "[One of Vicki's greatest gifts is] the uncanny ability to see the best side of the parent, child, and family as a whole. She observes with kindness and an open-heart. She makes recommendations and asks questions that drive right to the core of the problem or challenge."

How Does it Work

Our group class will meet online and is held via videoconference. We will send you all the details shortly after you register.